


Cordolium Hiraeth

by cryingceleste



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Number Five | The Boy, F/F, F/M, Hurt Number Five | The Boy, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lesbian Vanya Hargreeves, Let Number Five | The Boy Say Fuck, M/M, No Incest, Number Five | The Boy Has Feelings, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy Whump, Number Five | The Boy has PTSD, Number Five | The Boy is So Done, Number Five | The Boy-centric, Original Character(s), POV Number Five | The Boy, Pansexual Klaus Hargreeves, Past Rape/Non-con, Protective Allison Hargreeves, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Protective Klaus Hargreeves, Protective Number Six | Ben Hargreeves, Protective Vanya Hargreeves, Reginald Hargreeves Being an Asshole, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, The Sparrow Academy (Umbrella Academy), The Umbrella Academy (TV) Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-22 11:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30037962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryingceleste/pseuds/cryingceleste
Summary: After landing in 2019 with no briefcase and five emotionally stunted siblings, the job of keeping the timeline intact and finding a way home falls to Five. With the help of a mysterious ally, surprisingly amiable enemies, and powers that keep advancing, they may just be able to do it.Except, nothing ever works out in the Hargreeves' favour.---Or: I got sick of waiting for a season three so I decided to make my own.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Lila Pitts, Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone
Comments: 10
Kudos: 55





	1. The extent of love

**Author's Note:**

> hey! this is my first story, and i'm excited to finally be showing you all my creation. waiting for season three was mind numbingly tiresome, so i've taken it upon myself to create my own season three! please be respectful and pay mind to the fact that i'll be straying into new territory, and some things in this story may not agree with you or be what you would've expected. if it isn't your type of story, please click off and avoid any unnecessary commentary and if it is something you like, be sure to make that known! every comment or kudos lights up my day! without further ado, here we go!

_Perhaps we only leave, to once again arrive._

"Shit," Five breathed out, chorused by his siblings.

The house was almost exactly as it had been before. Earthly light trickled in through the drapes that framed the extensive windows. A cluster of couches ringed the living room that eventually morphed into a minibar, laden with drinks and refrigerated delicacies. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, flecked with multicoloured lights. 

Exhausted and overwhelmed by relief and victory, Five had failed to notice the differences in their surroundings as well as the similarities. Now, with his head cleared by the presence of the strangers standing in their home, the changes seemed painfully obvious. 

Sparrows were etched into glass and iron where before there had been umbrellas. Ben's portrait hung over the fireplace, outlined by the writhing flames beneath it. The blue mosaics and tiles that overlapped the arches of the living room were now dark scarlet, the colour of blood. 

And of course, there were the sparrow academy themselves. Behind Ben - standing on the balcony, shrouded in shadow - were five other people, their stances protective and defensive. Beside them, a cube shining with an unearthly blue light languidly floated. Even if it appeared at ease, Five knew better than to trust it's easy demeanor. He also knew better than to turn his back on the enemy, but he had little choice. His brain dead siblings were incapable of understanding anything unless it was spelt out in bold letters.

"We changed the timeline by all the havoc we caused in the 1960s. Now there's another version of us, a different academy. We don't know their powers, so stay alert," he furiously whispered, trusting Diego to stop anyone from attacking him when he wasn't looking. 

They all seemed to slowly come back to life, fighting against their exhaustion as best they could. Five understood, he was more tired than anybody, stopping two apocalypses in two weeks really wasn't ideal. But they had more pressing issues at hand than going to sleep or gawking at their undead brother, which Klaus was currently doing. Five sighed in frustration. The other man was barely listening to him. 

"Klaus, stop staring and get ready to leave! I know it's shocking, but we haven't got time for a reunion. This isn't the Ben we know and trust," he directed the last part to the rest of his siblings as well. 

Five quickly turned back around, adopting his calm and stoic mien. He had to buy his siblings some time to ready themselves for escape. 

"Reginald," he nodded at the man in question, "it's been a while. The last time I saw you, you were decades younger and not looking as sickly as you do today."

His eyes traveled past the old man, latching onto the superheroes behind him. He pointedly didn't look in Ben's direction. "You've got quite the crew. Pray tell how you acquired them."

Reginald laughed, but it didn't sound pleasant. It sounded dangerous, how a predator would laugh at his prey. In all of Five's years of knowing the other man, he'd never heard danger in his tone before, least of all directed at him or his siblings. His father had been mocking, brutal, humiliating, cruel and immoral beyond comparison. But he'd never posed as an actual threat to his children. He hadn't wanted them to fight him, he'd wanted them to fight the evil and injustice that plagued the world. No one had brought up the fact that Reginald had been the evil and injustice that plagued _their_ world.

"Number Five," Reginald murmured, but even his quieter tone of voice boomed, as if he had a microphone built into his throat at all times. "It has been a long wait, but here you are. The bombs of the impending apocalypse. You're just waiting to detonate."

His siblings gasped indignantly, stirring behind him with anger. He shared their outrage. They'd just fought to stop the apocalypse, time and time again. They weren't going to let their father chip away at that victory, the way he had always done.

"That's not true!" Luther yelled, before Five could stop him. "We just saved the world." His siblings murmured their assent. Five sighed inwardly. It was quite obvious that even if Reginald believed in his words, the statement was made to bait the academy. It seemed as if it were working.

"Is it not? All this time, you've been thinking of yourselves as the heroes. But your sister herself caused the apocalypse, did she not? You all allowed that to happen. Just like how you allowed your brother to die," Reginald mused, his fingers steepled under his tilted chin mockingly.

Allison, Diego and Luther immediately began yelling. Vanya was oddly silent, guilt written all over her face. And Klaus...Klaus looked _destroyed_. He stared at their father, pale as the ghosts he could only see. His eyes shone with unshed tears. 

As much as Five wanted to comfort his siblings, he really didn't have time for this. "We may have caused the apocalypse, but we stopped it from happening too."

"Oh? What reason do we have to trust you? Any of you? Who says that your very existence isn't causing an apocalypse at this moment? Who says that you won't go on to cause an apocalypse again? All the proof points towards the fact that you and your siblings always bring death and destruction with your every step. By killing you, we'd be eradicating the threat before it can happen, cutting the tree at its roots."

Five hated that their Dad had a point. No, not their Dad. Not anymore. Instead, he was fathering six children and a goddamn cube, all of which were staring at Five. 

Five raised his head and set his jaw. "There isn't going to be another apocalypse. The Commission said that they'd stop trying to cause one and we have good reason to believe that the new heads will keep to their promise."

Reginald narrowed his eyes in thought. "The Commission. Interesting. How did you know that I knew about them?" he asked. 

"You really shouldn't leave your belongings lying around. They could fall into the wrong hands!" He dove at the briefcase half hidden behind a creamy pillar. It was wrapped in the trademark black and navy leather that the Commission used, and after a light beeping noise that it made on contact with his skin, Five was completely sure that they could use it. 

Unfortunately, Reginald seemed to have realised what Five was about to do moments before he'd done it, for the sparrow academy were already running at Five full pelt.

Five ran at his siblings, flinging the briefcase at Luther. His brother, clumsy as always, dropped it immediately and it went skidding under the table. Reginald climbed to his feet, but after one look underneath the dirty table, he retreated, yelling at the sparrows to retrieve it. Allison had no such inhibitions. She crawled beneath the furniture and grabbed the briefcase, before throwing it at Diego, who was closest to the doorway.

Diego seemed to understand what she meant, for he grabbed Vanya and Klaus, before yelling at Luther to get Allison, who was currently exchanging blows with two of the sparrow academy members. Five was so busy checking on his siblings that he didn't see the two brothers sneaking up behind him. 

"Five watch out!" Klaus screamed, but it was too late. A colossal force threw him towards the wall, slamming him against the bricks. 

The world tilted and spun in terrifying circles. Dark spots floated in the corners of his vision. The screams of his siblings and the clash of metal on metal sounded astronomically far away and extremely tiny. White noise blanketed his mind, rendering him immobile. He couldn't breathe, couldn't see, couldn't hear, oh god he was going to die—

Oxygen flooded his airways and suddenly Five could breathe again. He gulped at the air and tried to clear his head of the pain that enveloped his every limb. Unfortunately, the reprieve was short lasting, for he was being lifted back into the air, his back bruising against the wall. 

Ben stood opposite him, Eldritch out in the open. A single tentacle was wrapped around Five's midriff, pressing him against the wall. Another tentacle fastened around his wrists, pinning them against the bricks. Ben looked quite bored, it was clear that it was taking him no effort at all.

Five was slightly humiliated that he could be overpowered so easily, but it was overshadowed by the immense pride he felt seeing Ben have complete control over his powers. Even so, Five hated Eldritch with every fiber of his being. It wasn't just because the octopus monster was the enemy now. It wasn't even because of the times that Ben had cried when they were children, covered in blood and hating the gift he'd never asked for. 

It was because Five had a theory about Ben's death, one he hadn't voiced for lack of time and words. Five was pretty sure that the criminals that had attacked the academy weren't the ones that had killed Ben. His brother may hate his powers, but they were incredibly strong and useful when faced with danger. No, he thought that Eldritch was too strong. After killing the attackers, it could've easily torn apart Ben too. Ben who had only been seventeen. Ben who had had his whole life ahead of him. Ben who had been the nicest person that Five had known. His favourite brother. Ben who had reportedly died screaming his siblings' names. Screaming Five's name. This Ben was not that Ben and it made Five angry.

"Put me down," he growled, anger and fatigue making his head dizzy. He was distantly aware that his siblings were still fighting the other sparrows. They'd all subconsciously formed a loose ring around Vanya, who was not only the least trained of all of them, but was in possession of the briefcase. Five prayed that his siblings could hold off the other members of the alternate academy long enough for him to join them. The briefcase was their ticket out of here. 

"No," Ben stated irritatedly. "I hate when villains ask that. I mean, why would I be holding you in the first place if I intended to let you go?"

"Villains? Is that what you think we are? You're more naive than I thought Ben," Five scoffed. He didn't want to be rude to his brother, even if this version of him wasn't actually Five's. But in his state of panic, he recalled a training lesson that they'd had when they were younger. 

Reginald had always said that anger was a potent emotion and when Ben got angry, he was less likely to be in control of Eldritch. They'd spent hours hurling insults at Ben, while the poor boy tried not to tear up in front of their father. Eventually, Ben could no longer keep his anger in check and he'd grabbed Five - who had been unluckily close at that time - and had thrown him at the wall. 

That had been one of the only times that Five had ever faced down Eldritch before, but he hoped that the same rule applied to this Ben. He was also aware that if Ben did lose control, there wouldn't be a cushioned wall to soften Five's descent. But it was his only option.

"How do you know my name?" Ben demanded, his tentacles imperceptibly tightening against Five's skin. Five smiled coldly, stamping out any love for this brother that was not his. 

"I know because I come from the future. Let me tell you something, your future is not pretty." Five laughed tauntingly. 

Ben stared at him in confusion. He seemed caught up in an inner conflict, torn between believing Five or not. After a lengthy pause, he gave in. "How so?"

Five was under no illusion that Ben believed him fully. Suspicion oozed out of the older man's every pore. He had to go further. 

"Well for starters, most of your siblings die, because of you. The rest of them truly hate you because it's all your fault. Then you become good friends with my siblings, but in a bout of weakness, Luther stabbed you because you ended up killing yet another important person. Eventually you bleed out, though I wasn't there to see if you actually died or not. But in your position? I'd wish I was dead!"

Ben scoffed, but Five could see the seeds of doubt in his eyes. "Prove it!" 

"How?" Five asked, worriedly shooting his siblings a glance. They were still engaged in the thick of battle and even though they were adept fighters, they were also exhausted after the last few days, whereas the sparrow academy had had forever to charge and ready. They looked worse for wear and Five doubted they could hold out much longer.

"Tell me my favourite book. Tell me anything about myself." Ben seemed smug all of a sudden, and Five had a strong urge to knock him down a few pegs. He was sure people had that very same urge concerning himself.

The obvious answer would be the opposite of whatever the real Ben had thought. Judging by this Ben's emo, narcissistic exterior, Five figured that he didn't read at all. But he had a gut instinct and his gut was almost never wrong.

"You don't have one. But you always say that you hope the next one will be the special one. You have a deep rooted fear that one day, your powers will turn on you. You always want to be better than you are, but your brothers always seem to get more attention," Five murmured. These were small things he knew about Ben. It had been over forty years since he'd last spoken to his deceased brother, but these tiny shards of memory were all he had left of him. He raked his eyes over Ben's physique and added as an afterthought, "You love being athletic and working hard."

Ben stared at him, features twisted up in shock. "Your lying!" he yelled, but it was apparent to both of them that Five's words had gotten into his head. 

Five plastered a smirk across his face, ignoring the fracture that lined his heart as Ben's face crumpled. "You know my power is time travel. I'm not lying."

Ben gasped, taking a staggering step backwards. "Stop it, stop, just stop," he whispered, his face ashen.

And Five wanted to. But one look at his family reminded him why he'd broken and stopped so many hearts before. He wouldn't let them die, even if a piece of him did as he uttered the next words.

"Why would I lie to you? Why would I waste my energy doing so? You're nothing to me, as inconsequential as a fly. You know, you used to be important to us in our timeline. But we let you die, because we don't care about you and we never did. No one ever will. You're just a waste of space, a waste of oxygen. You don't matter."

Ben screamed, a raw note of anger and misery and before Five could so much as speak a word, he was flying through the air. Five crashed through chairs and tables, cracking his head against the pillar that stood between him and his siblings. 

Warm blood spilt down the back of his head, and Five welcomed it. He deserved it. For a moment, he wanted to just lie there in the puddle of his own blood and close his eyes. It'd be so easy.

Then he saw the glint of a knife and a man that looked alot like a 70s Jesus and he remembered that his siblings existed. Right. They were still in a battle and Five had to help them. 

He slowly pulled himself to his feet, leaning heavily against the pillar, now slick with blood. His grip was so slippery he almost fell back down again. 

Five blinked the stars out of his eyes. "Vanya," he whispered, wincing at the way his voice cracked. "Bring the briefcase. We need to leave!"

Vanya didn't seem to hear him, but she got the gist of his message, for she grabbed Allison and Klaus and ran towards him. Diego and Luther copied her, emerging from the opposite side of the battle. 

For a second, Five thought that they'd make it, but one of the sparrows leapt towards Vanya, her eyes filled with a feral light. Vanya tried to fight back, but she'd never been trained before, and the woman easily prised the briefcase out of her hands. Vanya turned to look at him helplessly and Five understood. She was asking him whether she should come to him or go after the briefcase. As much as Five wanted her to retrieve it, he knew it was a hopeless battle. The sparrows surrounded it, waiting to see what they'd do. Five still didn't look at Ben, but for an entirely different reason. He weakly waved his hand, beckoning Vanya over. 

His siblings piled around him, equal looks of concern and panic on their faces. Allison was the last to arrive and she immediately went into mother mode as she caught sight of Five's injuries. "Oh my God, what happened?" Five shook his head, willing his nausea away. "Not enough time. Grab my hands," he gritted out, vision blurring with exhaustion. 

"Don't tell me we're going to time travel," Klaus asked, attempting at lightheartedness. Five didn't bother to reply.

"Are you sure you can do this? No offense, but you look like shit," Diego said. Despite his gruff tone, he could see the concern in his brother's eyes.

"Thanks for the reminder. I have enough juice left for this. And even if I don't, no worries. No reason to get bothered. I'll only die afterwards so you'll be alright." With his head bowed, he missed the collective looks of horror that crossed his siblings' faces. Five drew upon his last reserves of energy, begging his body to do this final thing for him. 

With a blue flash, his world broke apart into little fragments. Painstakingly slowly, they rearranged into a blue sky, a busy street and five sweaty adults.

He sagged against a wall, quickly doing an assessment of his siblings. They all seemed to be okay. Though not for much longer. They were only a few minutes away from the academy. After years of only wondering in these streets when they were skeletons of what they used to be, Five didn't know his way around anymore. He only hoped his siblings did. But before he could so much as take a step, his bones gave out. The past few weeks finally caught up to him.

Five couldn't even feel guilty when the darkness took him.

_To get a bird's eye view, of what it means to be alive._


	2. One has for another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hargreeves find refuge temporarily. Meanwhile, someone strives to reach them, though their intentions remain unknown.

_The silence is damned._

Ben Hargreeves was having the worst day and it wasn't even over yet.

"Pitiful performance. I expected better of you. How could you let them go?" Dad reprimanded, his face red with anger.

Ben exchanged glances with Jayme, who had changed from her academy uniform and was currently being swallowed by her black hoodie. Ben rolled his eyes subtly. It'd been a mistake buying her a new one.

Marcus - always the confident one - smiled charismatically. "Dad, me, Christopher, Jayme and Fei actually pulled our weight. We fought the intruders and we wounded them. Jayme even managed to get the briefcase! The only people who _failed_ at their job were Alphonso and Ben. Sloane didn't even try!"

"No, you _all_ failed. I told you to get Number Five no matter what, yet none of you seem to be competent enough to follow a simple instruction!" Dad hissed. "And _you_ , Ben, what have I told you about controlling your anger? The boy is tiny, what if you'd killed him by accident? At the very least, you should've thrown him _away_ from his siblings, not towards them!" 

Once Ben was sure that his emotions wouldn't be reflected onto his face, he let himself feel the sting of the words. _No matter how much it stings, he's right. Do better._

"I think it's time for you to tell us their powers," Alphonso said, glancing slightly at Ben when he nodded his thanks for the change in conversation. Dad pursed his lips in distaste and seemed to reach the same conclusion as the rest of them. They needed an advantage and what better than knowing their enemies strengths and weaknesses? Next time, they'd be more prepared. Ben vowed it.

"Number one, Luther, has super strength," Dad explained. "Number two, Diego, can control the trajectory of an object. He tends to go for knives. Number three, Allison, can say 'I heard a rumour' and make anyone do or believe anything she wants. Number four, Klaus, can see and commune with the dead. He can also make them do his bidding and make them corporeal, though I'm not sure he knows that yet. It doesn't work if he's inebriated. Number seven, Vanya, can control sound waves. She's extremely dangerous and powerful but she hasn't trained or learnt how to control her powers like the rest of them, so she should be easy enough to take out. Lastly, number Five has powers over the space and time continuum. He can teleport and time travel, as well as teleport objects without touching them. He can also freeze time and make certain things or people slower or faster without affecting everybody else."

So Five _wasn't_ lying. He could have actually come from the future. 

"Are we going to have to kill the rest of them?" Christopher asked, disdain evident in his voice. 

"Why?" Alphonso smirked. "Is little Chris scared of these _humans_?"

"I didn't say that, did I? I'd just rather not get blood on my hands," Christopher muttered. 

"That's a bit hard when you have no hands," Sloane murmured.

Ben rolled his eyes. "I, for one, would _love_ to get my hands dirty. It's been a while since we've been allowed to kill."

Dad stroked his chin in thought before shaking his head. "No, try not to kill them. They have powers that are extremely useful. But don't hesitate to bang them up a little. Just do one thing for me. Bring number Five, at all costs."

\---

Diego made a face as Luther greedily slurped up his spaghetti. They'd both made a momentary truce when the whole idea of team zero was introduced. He didn't know how to feel after the disastrous dinner with Reginald. But he _did_ know that they all needed to stick together. Which was why he'd stayed silent and patient as they'd carried Five into the car and driven to a random motel. After a heated argument which ended with "Five could die if you don't hurry!" Allison had rumoured the receptionist to let them stay free of charge. Now he watched as Vanya administered medical care on Five. He couldn't stay silent any longer. 

"What the fuck happened back there?" 

Allison pointedly ignored him. Klaus stared into space. He'd been zoning out alot lately. Diego made a mental note to check up on him later.

"I'm sorry," Vanya whispered, voice tiny. "If I hadn't lost the briefcase, Five would never have over exerted himself." 

Diego immediately shook his head, sliding into the seat beside his sister. A few months ago, he would've gagged at the thought of comforting Vanya. He'd been so angry at her for spilling their family secrets when she'd hardly been a part of it. 

Now he realised that was _why_ she'd spilt them in the first place. That didn't mean that he forgave her. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But he'd been a shit brother. They'd all had a part in causing the apocalypse, even if Vanya had actually done it. It was easy to pin all the blame on her - he certainly pinned alot of it on her - but he wasn't about to let his sister take the blame for everything that went wrong. He wouldn't take a backseat in her life anymore.

"It's not your fault. You were taken by surprise and Dad never bothered to train you. That's his fault - everything is." Diego layed a hand on her shoulder, hoping that he was being comforting.

"Yeah, and Five had already been thrown like a frisby by Ben. He was already injured. Besides, when is that guy _not_ over exerting himself!" Klaus added helpfully, looking slightly cheerier, but Diego didn't miss the way his voice hitched as he uttered their dead brother's name. 

Vanya didn't seem fully convinced, but she smiled at them nonetheless. "Thanks guys." Her eyes drifted down to where Five lay, pale and unmoving. "I just hope he recovers quickly. He looks...dead."

Diego agreed. Five was situated on the middle of the bed. He looked especially pale against the black sheets. Diego usually thought Five made up for his kid like stature with his big personality and elderly habits. But now he looked painfully small and more like a kid than Diego had ever seen him appear so.

He realised Allison was speaking. "—we can't just stay in a motel forever. I have a place we can go to, but we'll need to be quick, subtle and careful."

"Those are three words no one in this family can be described as!" Klaus groaned, tipping backwards onto the couch. Diego was glad he was feeling a little more like his usual self.

Allison obviously wasn't. "This motel won't have the proper medical care we need to administer on Five. Besides, if the sparrow academy are nearly as famous as we were, then they'd be searching all over the city and no one would think to stop them. They could just name us as criminals and no one would believe us. They'd hand us over in a heartbeat."

"I think the most important question is if that house that you want us to hide out in still belongs to you." Some time during the conversation, Luther had pushed his plate away and rose to his feet, a determined light in his eyes. Diego recognised that expression, it was the one Luther wore before a mission. Except something was missing; the orders and condescending looks. The unbridled anger and declarations of "I am number one, listen to me!" Luther wasn't trying to be a leader anymore. 

"Looks like we'll have to see," Allison smiled dangerously.

\---

When Five awoke, his first thought was if his siblings were alright. His second was why a monstrous man was staring deep into his eyes.

"Diego," Five groaned, smacking his brother's face. "Go away."

"That hurt you little shit," Diego complained, before grabbing Five's arm and pulling him upright. He pushed away the waves of nausea that struck him as the other man did so.

"Where are we?" he asked, trying to discern anything useful in the dark. All he knew was that they were in a car. 

"We're on our way to Allison's mansion."

"Does it even belong to her?" Five accepted the water bottle that Diego shoved into his arms. 

"We don't know yet. Allison and Vanya are scouting it out."

"Couldn't you have picked any other location? Also, why did you let _them_ go?"

Diego shot him a dirty look. "It's the only mansion of hers that's located in the middle of nowhere! We don't exactly have a colourful variety to pick from. And it's Allison's house, it only makes sense if she goes. Vanya's extremely powerful as well. You don't need to protect them constantly. They can handle their own shit."

"I need to protect _all_ of you constantly so excuse me if I'm worried!"

"Speaking of protection, you're not going to make it halfway to that door. You'll need someone to carry you," Diego smirked, all of his anger dissipating.

" _Oh hell no_ ," Five hissed. He raised his arm, about to hit Diego square in the face but before he could the door slid open. 

Allison and Vanya stood on the other side, slightly out of breath. Five did a quick once over, trying to see if they had any injuries. Once he was sure they didn't, he relaxed. That's when he realised Vanya was assessing _him_ for injuries. She didn't look happy with what she found. Oh right, he was injured. 

"Put down your arm Five," Allison ordered, and even though it wasn't a rumour, Five felt a need to comply. "The house is clear. Come on."

"But how?" Klaus piped up between the two back seats. Five hadn't even noticed he was in the car. His brother had a creepy talent at talking too much and being too quiet. 

"Just because this is an alternate timeline doesn't mean that it's completely different. Acting has always been Allison's passion. She probably still became famous in this timeline too. It's more probable than you can believe," Five answered.

"So I got roles without my rumours," Allison murmured to herself. Five squashed the urge to tell her that that wasn't a big accomplishment.

"Not neccessarily. Who knows if we still have powers in this timeline, or if we're capable of using and controlling them. Also, this is bad news. It means that there's probably other versions of ourselves out there, they could exist independently in this timeline," Five reminded them.

"Shit," his siblings said, all in unison. It seemed like it was becoming a habit. If his head didn't feel like it was about to explode, he might've laughed. 

"Anyways," Vanya interrupted. It annoyed him that she'd changed the conversation from something as important as what they were discussing, but she seemed more confident then Five had ever seen her look, so he let it go. "Whose going to carry Five?"

" _No one_ is going to carry Five," he yelled.

They carried Five.

\---

Amethyst gently closed the chestnut coloured drawer, cradling the books they'd discovered to their chest. Herb and Dot were currently on an outing in 1789, something about stopping a Lieutenant from decapitating his wife. 

They'd never understood why the Commission caused so many unnecessary deaths. Of course some of them were vital to preserving the timeline. But they just knew that alot of them were pointless or personal grudges. 

Some of them were barbaric. 

They remembered a case they'd witnessed last year. Two assassins were to go in and stop the murder of one of the children while the other killed the baby. The assassins had simply strolled into the living room, fired their guns, and left the premises just as the parents had begun wailing over the blood that coated the newly bought crib. 

It had been a horrific sight. One of many that Amethyst would never be able to prise out of their mind. They imagined how they would feel if two strangers slaughtered their innocent loved one spontaneously, in the name of justice. They couldn't. 

They glanced up at the clock and cursed. They didn't have much time before Herb and Dot returned. If they were to do this, they had to do it now. They took a deep breath and placed the notebook on the hardwood table in front of them. Then they lowered their hands. As soon as their skin made contact with the leather bound spine, they screwed their eyes shut and _pulled_.

A tether slowly traveled from their mind, wrapping around the book and connecting the object to them. The link widened and tugged. The first tendril of information entered their brain, filling them up with knowledge they hadn't known before. They increased the steady stream of information. 

Images and sounds floated behind their eyelids. A woman with brown hair and ghastly white eyes screamed in a torture chamber. A tiny boy collapsed beside a suspiciously large mound of dirt, tears streaming down his face as he wailed in pure agony. A man in the customised clothing of a veteran screamed as he clutched a corpse to his chest. A girl wearing a blue uniform burst into an office. As soon as she entered, the light bulbs shattered.

Amethyst slowly opened their eyes. There was no time to dwell on all they'd learnt. They had more to see. They quickly exchanged the notebook for another one and let the information flow inside of them. Over and over, until they finally learnt all they could from the seventeen notebooks they'd stolen. Then they shoved the books back into the drawer before slamming it shut. They had one last thing to do.

Amethyst turned towards the corner of the room, where they _felt_ a presence. They couldn't talk to it. They couldn't even see it. But they knew it was there. 

They reached out with their consciousness, brushing against the mind of the unknown presence. Then they _tore_.

They tore information from the mind, latching onto the new knowledge it brought them. Once they were finished, they extracted their mental claws from the mind, who they now knew was called the Handler. That bitch could rot in hell for all they cared.   
Just then, footsteps pounded down the hallway. Shit. They had to leave.

Amethyst lunged for the briefcase in the corner of the room. They unfastened the golden clasp and their fingers danced over the metal keys, punching in a timeline. 

Just as the door flew open, they vanished in a flash of blue.

_The body count is on your hands._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you reckon Amethyst is? Drop a comment down below! My update schedule is a bit crazy, but you guys should be happy with these two updates in one day! Unfortunately, I'm going to finish writing chapter five and maybe chapter six too before I post chapter three, because I want to be ahead of the game a little. Have a great day/night!


	3. Determines why we fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five and Vanya have a heart to heart that uncovers some buried feelings and misconceptions. However, they're interrupted by a surprising visitor.

_How can you say you know me, when you've only seen my skin?_

The house was nicer than Five thought it would be.

The main hallway was white with obsidian arches and multicoloured flowers emblazoned on the walls. They crept up the paint like vines, making looped and elegantly curved patterns. A massive lamp stood at the forefront of the house, bathing the rooms amber. A staircase wound out of sight, fairy lights twisted around the banister. 

Overall, it was quite homely and warm. Five never thought he'd call a mansion _homely_ , but it seemed untouched by time. He realised that this must be Allison's holiday home, judging by the slight evidence of disturbance and a child that lingered every so often. He couldn't tell if Claire was alive in this timeline. One look at Allison's heart broken expression and he silently decided not to bring it up. 

"Bring Five up to his room," Luther instructed. 

Five rolled his eyes. "I'm not a child, I can get there myself!" He struggled out of Vanya's arms, but she held onto him steadfastly. He shot her a betrayed look but she simply stared back, determination glittering in her eyes. It was embarrassing enough that _Vanya_ \- who was sweet, short and meek - was managing to carry him, let alone offering to take him up to his bedroom, like he was a child that needed tucking in.

"No you can't. No arguments, I'm taking you to your room and then I'm taking care of your injuries and you can't do anything about it. We're trying to help you Five. Try helping yourself too," Vanya said. 

Her voice was firmer than Five had ever heard it and her jaw was set stubbornly. All his life, he'd wanted Vanya to emerge from her shell and take a stand. It was an unfortunate moment to decide to be bossy. 

Before he could protest, she began marching up the stairs. Waves of nausea washed over him, but Vanya was careful not to jostle him. 

Five was pretty sure he lost consciousness along the way because the next time he was aware of his surroundings, he was lying on a bed and blinking stars out of his eyes. 

Vanya stood on the other side of the room. She held an ornate bowl that was filled to the brim with water. Smoke curled around the edges but she didn't seem bothered. She carefully lowered a red and white checkered washcloth into the bowl, waiting patiently for it to absorb the water. 

The silence was near deafening and for all his talk about "peace and quiet" Five actually hated silence. He had a strange relationship with it. At the beginning of the apocalypse, sandstorms and fiery hurricanes had ravaged the cities and torn apart the sky. After a few months, they'd dwindled ever so slightly and the silence had emerged.

No more buses and cars honking their way down streets. No more babies crying through open windows. No more teenagers laughing at some silly joke. No more couples arguing in front of suitcases. No more pounding of feet against concrete and sliding of windows being opened. No more doorbells ringing and clocks chiming.

No more birds tweeting and raccoons rustling in the bushes. No more whipping of branches and thudding of rain against the car seat glass. No more spattering of hail and squawking of pigeons.

No more heartbeats to be heard but his own. He'd sometimes wondered if that was real too.

No more _life_. 

Sometimes he'd talked to himself just to prove that he still could.

Then he'd been recruited by the Commission and all the noise he'd ever known had been almost worse than the sound, or lack thereof, in the apocalypse.

He'd thought his ascent to life would've been more beautiful. And life was beautiful. But not the people in it. Not the ones who made it. Not the ones who took it.

He'd foolishly - deep inside - hoped to have the singing of "happy birthday" and the laughter of friends filling his ears. Warm, easy conversation and the soft turning of a page. The sound of paper crinkling as someone bothered to make him a coffee cup. The footsteps in the hallway that would eventually get familiar. 

Instead he'd gotten gunshots and choked gasps. People coughing haphazardly and vomiting blood. The gurgling that accompanied a slit throat and the screams of the tortured. The sobs of those that have had their loved ones ripped away. Whimpers of fear. The sound of a knife piercing flesh and the howling of those forced to watch. Then the silence.

The silence of death.

The silence that had haunted him in the wasteland of destruction.

The silence that _he_ had caused.

His mind turned out to be his new wasteland of destruction.

Vanya gently made her way over to him, interrupting his spiralling train of thought.

"Can I check your injuries?" Vanya asked. 

"No. But I doubt you'll back off." 

She sighed. "Look, you don't need to let me check your chest injuries, or your bruises, though that would be ideal. But that head injury looks really bad. You could have a concussion or worse."

"I can take care of it myself," Five insisted. He knew she was trying to help, but that's what bothered him. He didn't _need_ help. He'd survived forty five years and then some without it.

"Oh? And how do you plan on seeing the back of your head? Unless you've got another power that somehow gives you multiple sets of eyes, you're going to need some assistance." Vanya crossed her arms and gave him a look that screamed "I could do this all day." 

His childhood seemed like it had happened eons ago, so he'd forgotten small things like how Vanya actually had a tough side that she showed when someone was in danger. And she loved being stubborn. 

"Fine. _Only_ the head injuries though." 

She seemed a little surprised that he'd agreed, and it ached his heart. The others had really fucked Vanya up while he'd been gone. But he couldn't really hold it against them. He hadn't even been there. If he had been, he would've helped Vanya and prevented the apocalypse from happening in the first place. But instead, he'd fallen victim to his own arrogance. He'd abandoned his siblings. He'd let Ben die. He'd let Vanya be consumed by her emotions. He couldn't point fingers at anyone when he was to blame.

Vanya quickly recovered, shifting past him. He felt the mattress dip behind him as she took a seat. Her hands gently clasped his biceps, raising him into a sitting position. Five flinched as her skin made contact with his and he internally groaned. The motion had only increased his headache and nausea. 

Paper and plastic rustled as Vanya found what she needed. Five shivered as a cold substance slipped down the back of his head. Then the cotton bud connected with his skull and he _gasped._

Flashes of pain crawled up and down his spine, distorting his vision and reducing everything to looping lines and static electricity. Ben must've really done a number on him. Five didn't remember it hurting so much, didn't remember the extent of the damage, but he was pretty sure that that was because of the haze of battle and the desperate need to keep his siblings alive; not his own lack of self awareness.

In a few seconds it was over and Vanya withdrew, hundreds of apologies stumbling out of her mouth. Five really wished she'd shut up, but he opted for, "Don't worry. I've had much worse."

He was sure that she was probably still wearing a guilty expression, but fortunately she ceased her apologies. 

"I've cleaned it. I'm just going to bandage it now. It shouldn't hurt," Vanya reassured, plucking gauze and bandages from the medical kit on the bedside table. "It looks like you've got some scalp damage, heavy bruising and a mild concussion. You'll be fine eventually."

 _If any of us even make it out alive_ hung unspoken between them.

Vanya quickly started bandaging. A moment of silence stretched between them, not awkward but certainly not comfortable. He could practically feel her searing a hole in the back of his head with her gaze. The quiet teemed with unsaid words and shameful thoughts. 

"If you've got something to say, say it."

"When you read my book, what did you think?" Vanya blurted, voice timid and subdued. Five distantly realised that she expected him to tell her he hated it, hated her.

"You called me selfish. Said I was an asshole," Five stated blandly. Vanya visibly winced. "You also said I was your best friend. Your only friend. I was the only person you didn't attack. You even went after Ben a couple of times. But out of everyone, you had the most good to say about me."

"To be frank, it confused me. It still does, to a degree. When you're living a life of literal hell because of your own idiocy and inadequacy, you truly realise how bad and stupid of a person you are. I never resented your statements commenting on my behaviour. They were true. They _are_ true. I'm not so caught up in my own self worth to not recognise the truth, unlike our bonehead siblings."

"No, what confused me was why you had so many good things to say about me. Sure, I included you. I could tolerate you more than the others. And you _were_ the closest thing I had to a best friend as well. But I certainly wasn't a saint. But now, after returning, I understand. The bar wasn't very high to begin with. You've lived with such poor company, it only makes sense that you pedestalised me. All in all, I believe your opinions of all of us were inaccurate and unfairly fabricated from the biased view of someone whose only ever experienced their side of the story. But I didn't hate it. I rather liked it."

"No," Vanya whispered, before her voice hardened. " _No_. You're wrong Five. I never pedestalised you or judged you on the little encounters I'd had with others. I judged you on who you were. I don't remember much of our childhood, it was a long time ago and I've spent so long suppressing it and being suppressed by the drugs. But I do remember one thing. You were _always_ kind to me. You never told me you loved me, you _showed_ me. You'd wait for me to catch up. You'd listen to me play the violin. You'd include me in your tickle attacks. You'd include me period. You'd buy me books and would visit me in your only thirty minutes of free time. You'd defend me against our siblings and give me the occasional compliment. You'd always divert Dad's attention when he was being especially cruel to me, even if it got you in trouble. And just small things like noticing I was in the room or flashing me a smile, or even telling me congratulations when I'd mastered a new score meant the world to me. Don't you _ever_ dare imply that you were a bad person. That I misjudged you. I know myself better then anyone and when I tell you I love you Five, I mean it. It might not mean much, but you've always been my favourite sibling too."

"It...it does mean a lot," Five weakly murmured. "But Vanya, you mustn't feel like you owe me anything. I _am_ a horrible person. In fact I—"

A loud crash shattered the silence, drowning out the rest of what Five was about to say. Vanya's head shot up, but Five was already at the window, having teleported without realising. 

His mind screamed at him to do something. Various scenarios flitted through his mind. Klaus crumpling to the floor, blood streaming from dozens of cuts that littered his body. Allison choking on her blood, hands curved into claws that slashed at her throat. Luther screaming in silent agony, his skin wreathed in midnight flames. Diego bathed in his own blood, maimed beyond recognition. 

But it was none of those things. A woman stood in the stone driveway that wound up to Allison's house, a briefcase clutched in her hands. Five immediately recognised the Commission's insignia on the briefcase and for a brief moment, hope sparked in his chest. They could kill the woman and steal her briefcase before finally returning home. 

But nothing was ever easy for the Hargreeves. 

Even from a distance, Five could see the unearthly white lights that sparked around the handle of the briefcase. They were so subtle that only an extremely trained eye would be able to spot them. He didn't know why, but he felt a strange urge to protect her from the gruesome fate she would no doubt endure if she kept holding the briefcase. Before he even knew what he was doing, he spacial jumped, ignoring Vanya's frantic sounds of protest and panicked questions. 

Five didn't even wait for the blue hue that accompanied his powers to fade, he was already lunging towards her. He opened his mouth to scream at her to let go, but he didn't need to, for she was already throwing the briefcase. It sailed through the air and landed in a copse of trees that surrounded Allison's mansion. With a sound like tearing paper, it exploded. Five immediately covered his face, suddenly realising he was way too close to the explosion. 

The front door flew open and Vanya emerged from the shadowed doorway, her eyes outlined in glowing white. She thrust her hands forward and Five felt rather than saw the forcefield that she erected around him. Chunks of the briefcase flew at his face and arms, but they merely bounced off of the invisible force.

Vanya rushed forwards, spinning Five around and cupping his face gently. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" she asked, panting for breath. 

Guilt wormed itself within his skin, burrowing between his bones. Guilt was a funny thing. It was so powerful that you felt like you were drowning beneath a current so strong and inescapable. And yet, you were also standing in the shallows, transparent waves sliding over your ankles, all alone and bare for others to see. You _wished_ you were drowning.

He wanted to apologise for leaving her in the bedroom, confused and scared. For ignoring her protests and not telling her who was outside, because for all she thought, it was their siblings too. He wanted to thank her for saving his life. He wanted to congratulate her on using her powers successfully and tell her he was proud. But the words wouldn't come. "I'm fine." 

"Hey, I hate to ruin this sweet moment but crazy hot lady is still here," Klaus interrupted, one finger pointed at the woman with caution, as if she would bite it off. Five hadn't even seen him - or the others - step outside.

Now that Five actually took a moment to observe her, he realised she probably could. The woman was tall, probably the same height as Diego, if not taller, and she looked about thirty years old. Red wisps of hair escaped her unruly bun and dark blue eyes scrutinised him as he did her.

"I don't recognise this woman. Do you know who she is?" Luther directed the last question to Five, his fists clenched and ready to swing.

" _They_ are right in front of you and can tell you themself, provided that you put down your weapons and don't decapitate them before they can explain." They shot an annoyed look at Diego, who was clutching his knife rather enthusiastically.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't kill you right now," Five demanded, still bitter over the loss of the briefcase. They'd been so close and yet so far away.

The woman grinned crookedly. "You won't hear what I'm about to say otherwise. And you'd want to hear it."

"How do you know that I'd want to hear it? Why should we trust you?" 

"I know all," they murmured. They wore such a serious expression that it made Five freeze. This wasn't some arrogant jerk claiming they knew best. This wasn't even an arrogant jerk that _thought_ they knew best. This was someone who _did_ know best. "Besides, I've had many chances to kill you and I've rejected them all. I could've used the briefcase to get here from a few miles away and none of you would've noticed. I could've landed inside. I could've killed everyone as soon as I arrived. Heck, I could've thrown the briefcase into your arms way before your superhero sister busted the door down."

"That is true," he conceded. "And you're not wearing the suit that Commission employees are told to wear. Also, you don't have weapons or back up, it'd be a really lame attempt at assassination. Your only briefcase blew up as well, any normal employee would be dreading the punishment."

"Exactly." They blew a stray piece of hair out of their face.

"That doesn't mean we need to trust them!" Diego yelled, staring at Five in indignation. 

"I'm afraid you've got no choice," they retorted, but it was without cruelty. It was a mere statement, said in the tone of someone who knew they had won.

"And why is that?" Vanya interrupted, voice timid and small. She seemed to have gotten over her earlier shock and concern and had moved to form a line with their siblings. 

"Because I'm just like you," the woman replied. Silence reigned, something so absurd with the Hargreeves siblings that Five itched to ruin it. The woman raised their head, and for a second, time stopped. 

Their eyes were ringed in red, not unlike Vanya's had been when they were white. A faint red light crackled around the woman's fists and surprisingly, haloed her head. Then it was over as quickly as it'd begun. 

"Why don't you come inside?" Allison sighed, pushing the door open. "We have a lot to discuss."

_And not the untamed world I hide, that's growing deep within._


	4. When life throws an obstacle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The intruder introduces themself and proves their abilities. Allison loses control and finds out shocking things that dismantle her life. Vanya and Allison have a talk they should've had years ago. Another unexpected visitor arrives.

_Whether you are pretty or not, I outlive you._

The living room was spacious enough to not feel crowded, but because of the way the Hargreeves were arranged, it didn't feel so. Luther was squashed at the very end of the blue couch. Despite his giant stature, he seemed ridiculously small beside Diego, who looked like a knife rack wearing a questionable wig. On the other side of Diego, Allison and Klaus sat in a jumble of limbs, whispering quietly to each other. Lastly, Vanya sat on the other end, occasionally shifting out of the way of Klaus' elbows, which seemed to have a mind of their own. Five was gingerly placed upon a lone armchair, from a vantage point where he could survey his siblings and the mysterious intruder at the same time. 

"I suppose I should start. My name is Amethyst Atavara, and I was born on October 1st, 1989, as all of you were. My entire life I felt special, but I didn't know why. I don't know how Reginald didn't get a hold of me, but I suspect it was because my parents wanted to keep me too much. They died when I was ten, so I can't be sure. Growing up, I only had one question. Why did I feel so different? I wanted to know so badly that I gained the knowledge. I had powers."

"How did you find out?" Luther asked, suspicion laced in his tone. 

"I told you. I gained the knowledge. That's what my power is. Knowledge. The ability to gain any information I want as long as it has a source. A source could be something or someone who already knew that information. I can know anything at the snap of my fingertips," Amethyst replied, pride seeping into their voice. 

"What if the source is a long distance away?" Five questioned, unable to keep the curiosity and wonder out of his voice.

"It's definitely easier if a source is within range, but my power would be pretty unreliable if I couldn't access sources all over the world. I can't expect a source to always be easily accessible. With intensive training, I've managed to learn how to gain information that's extremely far away. My powers have never failed me when I need them the most, so I think they can be fuelled by emotions. If I'm desperate to know something, my subconscious can travel further to find the answers," Amethyst explained.

Five cocked his head to the side in thought. "Could you use this as a sort of...mind reading?"

"If I wanted to know what you were thinking, I could. But only the thought or thoughts you had in the moment I tried to exact the information. I wouldn't get memories, future or past thoughts unless I wanted to know that separately."

"Are you part of the Commission?" Five asked, leaning forwards in his seat. He already had a feeling he knew what the answer was.

"I was. I'd been there for the past two years, give or take. But I wasn't part of the Correctional Department. I was a special figure in the hierarchy. With my powers, the Commission wanted me dead. But they knew I was basically invincible because my powers always save me. So they decided to harness them to advantage themselves. And I agreed. I didn't know what the Commission was like when I first joined. I never imagined...as soon as I heard about the apocalypse, and about you Five, I dedicated my life to stopping it. I only stayed in the Commission so I could find an easy way to you all, with the information I needed," Amethyst murmured. If anyone else had caught their horrified, glassy eyed look when they'd mentioned what the Commission could do, they didn't mention it.

"Hang on, it's great that we've been united with yet _another_ possible sibling, but what are you actually doing here?" Allison muttered, rubbing her temples tiredly.

Five felt struck by guilt, once again. He wasn't used to caring about anyone's emotions after being in the apocalypse. There'd been no one there to judge or be judged by. He'd almost forgotten humans had emotions to begin with. Allison was probably two seconds away from collapsing - and so were the others. He had to get them to bed as soon as possible. 

"This may sound strange, but I want to train you," they admitted, immediately holding up a hand as Luther and Diego insisted they were already trained. The boys still looked upset, especially at the fact that they'd agreed with each other, but they fell into silence relatively easily. Five recognised that blatant show of respect and wondered what he'd done to not have it. 

"While at the Commission, I gained knowledge from various notebooks, memories, people and sources. It's how I managed to piece together your story. But it wasn't all I'd learnt. I also made a few discoveries about a lot of your powers. You need to be trained, _properly_. I don't know if Reginald intentionally held back your potential, but he has. So believe me when I say this: I'm the only person capable of helping you," Amethyst retorted, desperation clear in their voice. 

"If that's true, then prove it," Five glared at them, making it very clear what would happen if it wasn't true.

"I don't think it's a good idea to train right now. We're all exhausted," they rebutted. "However, a quick demonstration of my powers shouldn't hurt." They glanced at Diego. "Give me a name and I'll tell you any information about them."

"I don't want you poking around in my head!" Diego yelled, hefting his knife as if it was a mental barrier. 

Allison rolled her eyes. "You're so childish. Fine! I'll go. Raymond Chestnut."

Amethyst stayed extremely still for a moment, almost as if they were sleeping with their eyes open. "Raymond Chestnut was born on 2nd of July, he frequently visited a shop that his wife worked at and they held meetings with other people of colour where they would advocate for black rights. He was a sophisticated man who loved to dress in suits and other fancy items of clothing, but he quickly learnt to stick to bland, cheap pieces that would help him blend into a crowd. Growing up, he was quite poor. He was raised by a single mother and bullied by racists all his life. He was married to Allison Hargreeves, but his wife went missing before they could even reach two years of marriage. Afterwards, the police convicted—"

"Wait. You know what happened to Ray? Tell me!" Allison demanded, her voice rising in volume. It seemed to shock Amethyst out of the trance-like state they'd been in. 

They recoiled suddenly, staring at the feral, wild look in Allison's eyes. "I don't think I should—"

"I heard a rumour that you told me what happened to _my fucking husband_ ," Allison roared, her eyes shining with fury and desperation. 

"Raymond Chestnut was convicted of the murder of his wife - Allison Chestnut - after she went missing. A few of Raymond's friends and colleagues claimed they saw the two having a fight. After serving a sentence of seven years, he was let out on 11th December. He never remarried but he did become an anti - racist advocate, despite serving in prison."

"No," Allison murmured, clutching her chest as if she could pull out her heart and smash it to pieces. " _No_ , it's all my fault!"

Amethyst glanced at Allison with such an icy expression that Five's hand clasped the knife in his pocket before he could even register the motion.

"Powers like ours can be used to take away someone's freedom of will very easily. That's exactly why you need to learn how to control it. People aren't toys. You can't play with their minds and take away their autonomy just because you were born with an advantage that they don't have. It's wrong. If you _ever_ try to rumour me again - unless I consent to it or it'll save me from danger - I won't hesitate to teach you a lesson. If you need me, I'll be in a spare bedroom. Get some rest." With that, they swept out of the room.

Vanya quickly reached over Klaus and hugged Allison, though she looked mildly disturbed. Five couldn't figure out why. Klaus immediately joined the group hug and even Diego awkwardly patted Allison's back. Luther looked at Allison sadly but made no move to comfort her. Neither did Five. He wasn't good at comforting people, never had been. It was best if he stayed out of it, he'd probably only hurt her more and that was the last thing she needed.

Five silently slipped out of the room before trudging up the stairs. It felt so strange that he was actually going to rest and sleep. He couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten a good night of sleep. It was probably before he went to the apocalypse and it wasn't like those nights were particularly amazing either.

He returned to the bedroom where he'd woken up earlier. It was hard to believe it was less than an hour ago. Five had been scared to kill Amethyst when he'd first seen them poised on the cobbled path. He didn't want to have to commit another murder, and it seemed like luck was on his side for once, because they'd turned out to be an ally, or so he thought. He still wasn't entirely convinced yet.

As he was about to step into the room, something caught his eye. A door was cracked open, a single sliver of light the only indication anyone had been inside. Fighting back waves of fatigue, Five carefully made his way down the corridor. As he walked, he contemplated all he'd learnt. All of their powers were more advanced than Reginald ever let them believe? It just didn't seem possible. Reginald was the one who always pushed them to be better. If there was something that could've helped his children excel, he would've done anything to make it happen. 

_Wrong. He hid Vanya's powers when she could've been an asset to the team as well._

Five gasped as his foot hit the door. He really needed to pay attention. He firmly fastened his hand around the doorknob before slowly pushing it open, his other hand loosely holding his knife. 

As the door swung open, Five blinked the lights out of his eyes. Then he blinked again. And again. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. 

_"What the fuck..."_

\---

Vanya gently wiped the tears off of her arm. They weren't her tears; they were Allison's. Her brain still couldn't process the events that had transpired. When she'd seen Allison rumour Amethyst, she'd felt angry for the other woman but also angry for herself. 

She'd never forgive herself for slitting Allison's throat, but she'd never forgive Allison for rumouring her to believe she was normal. She loved her sister, but Allison was still too carefree with her rumours and it bothered Vanya, who'd been a victim of them more often than not.

But there was no way in hell she'd let her sister suffer through a breakdown all alone. She'd already experienced that; it wasn't fun. She and Klaus mostly handled it, while Diego fortified the house and Luther apprehensively got Amethyst accommodated. 

Vanya was secretly glad that Amethyst had arrived. She still felt fairly awkward with her siblings after almost killing them several times and she looked forward to an outsider finally training her. She never wanted to hurt her family again.

"Hey Vanya," Allison murmured weakly, shuffling tiredly into the kitchen. Vanya stiffened before forcing herself to relax.

"Hi. You should eat something," she added as an afterthought. 

Allison immediately shook her head. "I'm not hungry."

"You shouldn't beat yourself up about Ray. He knew what he was getting into when he agreed to stay with you after he found out the truth." Vanya pulled out a packet of cheese and two slices of bread. "And starving yourself in retaliation isn't going to do anything."

"But he _didn't_ know. Love isn't so easy. I should've told him before we ever got married. Before he ever got the chance to get attached. Even if you don't want to, love makes you stay," Allison whispered, rivers of tears snaking down her face. 

Vanya sighed and discarded the items on the counter before turning around and fixing her sister with the firmest look she could muster.

"You're right. Love isn't easy. But it's also powerful. And I love you enough to tell you the truth. There are lots of things we all wish we could go back in time and change. We feel it. Normal humans feel it." It was the first time she didn't include herself in the normal category. "But we can't. We can't do anything about it. I wish I could change so many things but I _can't_. What happened with Ray has already happened. There's no way to reverse time. At least now you know your mistakes and can go forward fixing them. No one blames you." _I don't blame you._

"But Vanya, _you_ can change the past. You don't want to cause the apocalypse, right?" Allison asked. With a nod of confirmation, she continued. "Well we're going to stop the apocalypse, if there is a future one. Heck, we've _already_ stopped the apocalypse! But I can't change what happened to Ray." Allison glanced down at her hands as if she didn't quite believe they belonged to her. "And I rumoured Amethyst...after all my work to turn my life around, I'm still hurting others."

"There _is_ a way to reverse the damage you did with Amethyst. You can always apologise and make it up to them. And of course I care about not causing the apocalypse. Of course I'm happy we might've changed it. But I can't erase the way I hurt you and the others, and that's what I care about most. So you're not alone in this boat. We'll shoulder the burden _together_. I've always been alone. I need you," Vanya whispered, grabbing Allison's hand in hers. 

"I don't need a superhero. I need my _sister_."

Allison made a sound that was so guttural that Vanya wondered if she'd done something wrong, but in a split second she found herself being yanked into a ferocious hug. She immediately hugged back, laughing wetly. She smiled as more tears trickled out. She'd never felt so _loved_. Tiny pieces of her heart sewed back together, the jagged edges a little less painful. In that moment, she knew it'd be okay as long as she had her family.

"I love you Van," Allison whispered into her hair, tightening her arms around Vanya's ribcage. 

For once, Vanya believed her. "I love you too."

After a few more moments of peaceful hugging, they drew apart. Vanya smiled brightly and Allison beamed back at her. She'd actually helped someone instead of hurting them or being hurt by them. It was a nice feeling.

"I'm going to check up on the others. Why don't you come with m—"

"What the fuck?" Five shouted, his voice echoing across the hallways. Allison quickly raised her head in alarm, meeting Vanya's eyes. That wasn't a normal Five yell. He sounded _scared_. Five _never_ sounded scared.

Vanya shifted past Allison, running up the stairs, confident that her sister was following. As she turned the corner, she spied Diego and Klaus mirroring their actions on the opposite staircase. Luther was nowhere to be seen. 

Vanya slid to a stop in front of the spare bedroom, staring at the door in confusion. It was wide open and completely empty. 

"Five, where are you?" she yelled, distantly aware that the light bulbs were flickering above them. 

A muffled response came from the little bedroom on the other side of the hallway. She couldn't figure out what it said, but she was pretty sure it was "Here!" so she cautiously made her way towards the door. 

As she yanked the door open, she was momentarily confused. Then she caught a glimpse of Allison's ashen face in the mirror and she knew what her sister was about to say before she said it.

"Claire?"

_Bend down my strange face to yours and forgive you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> queen of cliff hangers :)


End file.
